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Mystic Visions



by Soolaba 1983 (click to enlarge)

Friends gathered around the fireplace, flower children, yogis, musicians and wizards.

Two red dragons upon several potent cones. Now in the background I hear their sweet songs of love, my family of magicians. In the moonlit garden I kneel down to rest in mystic meditation. With routine happiness I tune into the pure consciousness with the transcendental seed mantra.

But wherefrom cometh this overwhelming power?  Yes, be I in Grace! Now, from the core of my heart, I must ask ‑ If you are there Lord, please give me a sign!

Lo and Behold!  The answer cometh upon me like a wave of great love and power, be the Hand of God that raiseth me up to perceive this Glory of His. O Lord, I am floating in Your shower of bliss, up‑raised, Your Divine Energy, a continuing current of ecstasy, radiating from me into an infinity of perception. Thousands of arms and hands, in all directions, with millions of fingers, an all‑seeing eye on each fingertip, I am touching You, and You in me.

And when I breathe, the wind blows and creation dances. And when the wind blows, I breathe, there is no difference ‑ this is the power of God.  And when my arm sweeps through space, the flock of birds fly with it ‑ At One! At One!

Your Face I see, the Face of God, I see You all around me. O blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. Let me serve You, let me share Your Glories.

Chance is Your Will, change is Your Will, experiencing this is knowing everything, for all time. Beyond time, knowing eternity, this pales into insignificance the heights of lusty sex. But We are united in ecstatic love ‑ for ever and ever. Amen.

How fortunate the Enlightened Ones! Yes, Yes, yoga means union, holy communion. Your love, showering in Your purity, is pouring through me like the twelfth trump, the water of life washing away all sin. Forgive my trespasses as I forgave others. Living love, Living love, this is Heaven, beyond description.

Hello sweet nicotine, still in my hand, your breath crystalizing this all-expanding aura of rainbows, creating an infinity of luminous jewels through space – Then the Lord’s Voice cometh unto me “Stop Smoking”.  But look what it does – see this magic artistry?

Winds of Change, ‑ who’s entering this sanctuary? Who cometh, someone else is here! ‑ and by and by I see him, a dark little gnome, he is not seeing. Hairy one, are you confused? Oh! you want my cigarette!

Uncountable thanks to good karma and my friends at Stanley St squats Sydney, Easter ’79.  All thanks to guru Maharishi, Lord Jesus Christ and ajnana sukriti from serving Srila Prabhupada’s disciples. Thanks to my cosmic family, the adepts of alchemy and love.

by Cosmic Steve (Soolaba) ©1979 Steve M. Doyle



Nine years later, by the practice of Bhakti Yoga under the guidance of Sri Guru, I found the references and language to describe those transcendental experiences.

Vision 1: I AM SPIRIT
I have been awakened! And behold, I can see that I am much more than this body I had called my ‘self’. I am consciousness, awareness, I am being, I am vibration, I am spirit. I, the spiritual energy, the life force, am clothed by my ego (self image), my knowledge and intelligence, and my thoughts and emotions. This comprises my astral being, who in turn, is the master of my physical body, composed of space, air, fire, water and earth.
(Ref. Gita 2:17, 20 7:4, 5 8:3)

And Lo! As my vision deepens, I see all things as a vibration of divine energy, harmonics of supreme consciousness. The whole creation be alive! Permeated with love of life, if only yea could perceive it! To harmonise with this Cosmic energy, the Spirit, Brahman, I surrender my ego and my body. Pranayama slow my breath to suspend the inward and the outward. The heartbeat fades away and rests in mystic death, through practice and faith in love. The perceiver, the perceived and the act of perception all totally One. Cosmic union of self and non self. All is One! All is One! This is Spirit, This is Love, This is Eternal, This is knowledge, This is Brahmananda, Bliss beyond all words.
(Ref. Gita 6:15, 20 23 4:30 5:19 10:8 Bhagavatam 3:28:8, 10)

Again and again I offer my obeisances to the eternal energy, the infinite cosmic power. To it I totally surrender. Take my life in Your infallible hands. In this Grace cometh the Lord’s Prayer, and fond resonance of the transcendental seed mantra. Faith in love, openness of mind and heart, and behold the revelation! The Sign of God be upon me, and raiseth me up. There is a superior power!, the Supreme Almighty, who remains hidden to those of an impure heart. Eternally are we in harmony with Your Will and Your Presence. Oh Divine Lord, everywhere is your breath, everywhere your awareness, everywhere I see your face. When I breathe it is your breath, the cosmic wind. When I move it is your movement, moving all I see. Perfection in motion, I dance in your heaven’s presence, your divine dance of eternal existence. You allow me to experience your omnipresence, omnipotence and omniscience because we are in perfect harmony, in union. Though we are one, I offer my love and life to You, who are the Supersoul, the source of my being. Oh Father! these tears of joy I do not deserve. I am humbled by the infinity of Your divine mercy upon this insignificant seeker. All glories to the saints who speak of Your existence. Being sincere, I have been blessed with the vision of Your Grace. Oh, how fortunate are those touched by Your generosity.
(Ref. Brahma Samita 58, 62 Gita 18:54 13:14, 23 11:38 14:27)

I have taken refuge in Thee, Lord, and You have led me to the Spiritual Masters and the Vedas. I take shelter in them and they are showing me You, Lord, face to face. You are rapturously enchanting with exquisite beauty, and continually shower bliss upon Your intimate devotee. The merciful side long glance from Your charming lotus-like eyes soothes my heart and causes my hair to stand on end. My eyes drink the serene nectar of Your ever youthful face, which is adorned with curly blackish hair, decorated with compassionate glances and loving smiles. With mystic opulence You are present within the atom and yet remain aloof from the entire creation. You are the witness in everyone’s heart from whom comes knowledge, remembrance and forgetfulness. Dressed in silken garments and gold bedecked with brilliant jewels, You hold in Your four beautiful hands the lotus, conch, disc and mace.
(Ref. Gita 4:34 13:16-18 15:15 9:4, 5 Bhagavatam 3:28:1.3 17)

Oh Lord, You always appear in your eternal spiritual forms to rescue the conditioned souls. You know the thoughts and feelings of everyone, past, present and future. Your transcendental body consists of eternity, knowledge and bliss, exhibits all mystic perfection and has inconceivable potency. Innumerable universes are continuously emanating from the pore holes of Your luminescent body as You breathe. Your qualities and activities are so wonderful that you attract even the liberated souls merged in brahman.
In the beginning of creation You sent forth generations of men and demigods, along with sacrifices meant for your pleasure, and blessed them saying “Be thou happy by this sacrifice because its performance will liberate you from bondage and bestow upon you all desirable things”. Anyone who knows You as the Personality of Godhead, without doubting, is to be understood as the knower of everything, and he therefore engages himself in full devotional service.
Oh Lord Vishnu, You are the father, mother, maintainer and grandfather of all this universe and mercifully absorb all the sinful reactions of Your surrender devotees. You are what is to be known, You are purity, the syllable OM and the four Vedas. You are the goal, the upholder, the master, the home, the shelter and most dear friend. You are the creation and annihilation, the basis of everything, the eternal seed. You are immortality and death personified. Both being and nonbeing are in You.
Your bodily hue is like that of a monsoon cloud with the brilliance of lightning bolts, and is adorned with the opulence of the absolute. With great awe and reverence I am engaging in your divine loving service. Lord Narayana, husband of the Goddess of Fortune, you are the ultimate resting place of all these worlds, You are inexhaustible, the most ancient and ever present absolute truth.
(Ref. Gita 4:8 3:10 15:19 9:17 19 7:26 Bhagavatam 10:14:11)

(Sri Radha-Krishna, Sri Nama)

Oh Lord Krishna, although You are unborn, and Your transcendental body never deteriorates, although You are the Lord of all living entities, although You are the origin and dissolution of all that is spiritual and material, You still appear in every millennium in your original transcendental form, garlanded with beautiful flowers and adorned with the flute and jeweled ornaments. Your eternal, blissful, spiritual body has no other origin, but is the origin of all, the prime cause of all causes.
However, You are never manifest to those fools who deride You when You descend in human form, but remain covered by Your internal potency. Due to their small knowledge they think You were impersonal before and have now assumed this personality. They do not know Your transcendental nature as the imperishable Lord of all that be.
I worship that primeval Lord, Govinda, whose blooming eyes are like lotus petals, whose head is bedecked with a peacock feather, whose figure of beauty is tinged with the hue of blue clouds, and whose unique loveliness is charming millions of cupids. I worship You, Lord, whose graceful threefold bending form captures the minds of the greatest yogis, who is obtainable only by pure unalloyed devotion and who always revels in pastimes of love. O Krishna, You are the performer of wonderful varieties of pastimes, especially of those in Your childhood. You attract the hearts and minds of all living entities all over the universe by playing on Your flute, and are always surrounded by devotees endowed with wonderful love of Godhead.
You are the all attractive source of all devotional mellows because You are the personification of conjugal love. Your wonderful excellence of beauty cannot be rivaled anywhere in creation. Indeed Your beauty attracts not only Your devotees, but Lord Narayana and the Goddess of Fortune, and it even attracts and astonishes Yourself. This unparalleled beauty is the topmost sweetness of love of God, which increases unlimitedly when You enter the company of Srimati Radharani.
Of all Your energies, Your own spiritual energy (cit shakti) is supreme, of the varieties of Your spiritual energies, the pleasure potency (hladini) is supreme. Of the varieties of spiritual pleasure, love of God (prema) is supreme, and the highest ecstasy of love of God is mahabhava, Srimati Radharani.
Srimati Radharani’s personal beauty is compared to reddish kunkum, Her affection for Her associates is compared to sandlewood paste and the sweetness of Her smile is compared to camphor. All these combine together and are smeared over Her radiant body. Srimati Radharani’s body is brilliant in lustre and full of all transcendental flavours, and Your affection for Her is like a perfumed massage.
You are both consummately elegant, beautiful and charming. The lake of Your minds are filled with the swiftly moving current of intense love. The water overflowing from that lake takes the form of tears of bliss, in which You are bathed. With Your hair standing on end You both appear like beautiful kadumba flowers.
Oh Radha Govinda, of sacrifices You are the chanting of the holy names, which, even chanted only once by a sinful man, will counteract the reactions to more sins than he is able to commit. O my Lord, Your holy name alone can render all benediction to living beings, and thus You have hundreds and millions of names like Krishna and Govinda. In these transcendental names You have invested all Your transcendental energies. There are not even hard and fast rules for chanting these names. O my Lord, out of kindness You enable us to easily approach You by chanting Your holy names, but I am so unfortunate that I have no attraction for them.
O effulgent holy name of Krishna, even the dim glimmer of Your splendour devours the prowess of the darkness of the material world, and gives the vision that causes devotional service to those who are blinded and cannot see the truth. What learned person in this material world can possibly describe Your exalted glories. O Harinama, You have many forms such as chastiser of the Aghu demon, son of Yasoda, son of Nanda, lotus eyed one, the moon of the gopis, the king of Vrindavan, He who is most merciful to the surrended souls, and the all attractive one. I pray my attraction for you greatly increase.
0 Harinama, You are manifest also in two forms, one, the blissful form of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the other, the sound vibration of His holy name. Your form as the sound vibration is much more merciful than Your blissful form because even if one has committed a multitude of offences to Your first form, by serving Your second form with his voice, he becomes immersed in the ocean of transcendental bliss.
My dear Lord, when will my eyes be beautified by filling with tears that constantly glide down as I chant Your holy name? When will my voice falter and all the hairs on my body stand on end in transcendental happiness as I chant Your holy name?
O Govinda, feeling Your separation, I am considering a moment to be like twelve years or more. Tears are flowing from my eyes like torrents of rain, and I am feeling all vacant in the world in Your absence. I know no one but Krishna as my Lord, and He shall remain so even if He handles me roughly in His embrace or makes me broken-hearted by not being present before me. He is completely free to do anything and everything, for He is always my worshipful Lord unconditionally.
(Ref Gita 4:6 7:2.4,25 9:11 10:25 Bhagavatam 6:2:7 Brahma Samita 30,31,33
Caitanya Caritamrita Mad.8:151 160,171 Namastaka and Siksastaka 5 8)

©1988 by Steve M. Doyle (Soolaba)

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